Post Divorce Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Situations

 No one expects to get a divorce, nor do they spend a great deal of time considering what life may be like afterward. However, if you are going through a divorce, it is safe to say that the process is very time consuming and likely to dominate your mind almost constantly. You may find yourself bringing it up in every conversation - this can either help bond you with someone or push them away. Here are a few simple social tips to keep in mind as you go through your divorce and beyond.

Mind What You Say in Public

It is natural to wish to unburden yourself to friends and family, but you should be cautious what you reveal to others about your ex and your divorce. People are listening and formulating opinions. Those closest to you take what you say and hold it against your ex-spouse, even further down the road when your relationship may become less volatile. This is especially true if you are attempting to co-parent with your ex-spouse. At the same time, anything you say can also be used against you. Remember, this is an extremely stressful time and you are most likely not behaving as you normally would. Airing your dirty laundry can provide some temporary relief, but it could also create an additional layer of conflict amongst your family and friends.

Be Extremely Cautious of Your Behavior When Your Kids are Around

Regardless of what happens between you and your spouse during your divorce, you both will forever be the parents of your children – even adult children. Hearing one parent insult the other can have devastating affects on a child of any age or maturity level. Children should not have to struggle to identify and compare themselves to the people they love and admire most while hearing negative talk about those same people. No matter their age, kids tend to internalize and misinterpret what they hear. It is best to avoid discussing anything negative surrounding your divorce if there is even a remote chance your kids could be listening.

If You Are Feeling Overly Emotional, Postpone Legal Discussions

Your lawyer will undoubtedly be one of the most understanding people when it comes to your struggle, but they are not a substitute for professional therapeutic counseling. Divorce lawyers can provide great advice and helping you to put things into perspective, but the more you are discussing your emotional or mental health with them, the less time you are working on your case strategy to ensure you are walking away from your marriage in the best possible position. Do not be afraid to seek out a mental-health specialist if you need one. Your attorney can even help you find one best suited for your needs.

Remember That Legally Speaking Your Spouse is Your Adversary

Not all divorces are contentious. Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who is ending their marriage for the mutual benefit of both parties and can do so without a lot of fighting. But it is still important to remember that when it comes to the legal process, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are adversaries and have different goals. Do not allow a friendship to be used against you. Work closely with your legal counsel to ensure you are not being taken advantage of and considering all your options with an open mind to achieve your divorce goals.

Don’t Kiss and Tell

Even if your spouse has moved on, remarried, or started a new family, it is never a good idea to discuss your intimate relationships with each other. If you can maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, you should still avoid the topic of your respective post-divorce romantic lives to avoid uncomfortable situations. Feelings of bitterness or jealousy, no matter how small, can strain your relationship and can be particularly damaging if you are attempting to co-parent your kids together.

Reconsider Congratulating Others on their Divorce

Recent trends have shown many people have begun celebrating the finalization of their divorces with small (or large) parties, vacations, or a night out. Perhaps you are one of these people whose life is improved by divorcing but do not assume the same for others. If you hear of a friend’s recent split, hold off on congratulating them or talking up how much better their life will be. Just because that was the case for you, every divorce is different. The end of a marriage can be extremely painful for some, and you want to remain sensitive to that pain, even if it is not something you have experienced firsthand.

Do Not Discuss Your Divorce on a Date

Now that your divorce is in your rear-view mirror, you should avoid discussing your divorce on dates. Oversharing details of your divorce or spending a lot of time insulting your ex is unpleasant to anyone listening and does not aid you in healing from the process. No matter how unique you believe your divorce story is, it usually is not. You should not allow it to define you. Give your date, or anyone else for that matter, the privilege of getting to know you – not your divorce.

Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about its clients and wants every stage of a client’s divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office at 713-600-5500.