Often, people struggle with feelings of guilt or shame after a divorce. There are several commonly believed myths that may make you feel as though you’re not worthy of asking for and seeking the life you want. Here are a few tips to help you bust through some common myths.
Myth #1: Asking for What You Want is Selfish
Many of us are taught from an early age that wanting
something for ourselves equates to selfishness. This “emotional conditioning”
can present in adulthood as well, especially if you are going through or have
recently been through a divorce. This feeling is especially common among women
who have gone because they are raised to believe that being a wife and/or a
mother requires complete selflessness. But it is not selfish to ask for what
you want. Believe it or not, it is healthy and critical to your post-divorce
recovery to take care of yourself first! Focus on activities that bring you
joy, and intentionally set some time each week to commit to them, such as
quality time with friends, your kids, or engaging in a new hobby.
Myth #2: It’s Too Hard to Move Forward
To the contrary, the world is yours for the taking after
divorce. Your actions will help shape what your life looks like, in the present
and in the future. Reflect on those times when you may have been scared or
anxious. Perhaps you took more classes in college than you initially believed
yourself capable, or perhaps juggling the ever-present “work-life” balance left
you feeling like you were not enough? Then,
shift your focus to all the times you triumphed, as well as all the times you
seemingly failed & what you learned from those experiences. Consider writing
down these life events or moments in a journal and be truthful with yourself
about the feelings you were experiencing in those moments. Recalling life’s
triumphs and failures will help you reconnect with the confidence that is
within you! Remember that you have prevailed
in the past and you can do so again. This exercise takes work, practice, and consistency,
but it is worth doing for YOU so that you can embrace and envision the life you
truly want.
Myth #3: You Do Not Deserve a New Life
People are constantly bombarded with ideas that they should
be grateful for what they have without aspiring for more. This message can be
damaging to your self-esteem during and after a divorce as you navigate many
negative emotions. You should never feel bad for asking for more in your life
and it is okay to invest in yourself, treat yourself, and take care of
yourself. Do not neglect your desires or mental health as you begin your new
life. Taking time for yourself now is going to help you in the future, as well
as those who are closest to and care for you.
If you are struggling to reclaim joy in life, please
consider seeking professional mental health interventions. Take the time you need to grieve the end of
your marriage but remember that the “myths of divorce” you have been told do
not have to rule your life as you get to know yourself again.
Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you
through the process of a divorce. The attorneys at Jenkins & Kamin LLP care
about their clients and want every stage of a client’s divorce to go as
smoothly and favorably as possible.
Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of
the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team”
approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff with
clients, so they feel fully supported through difficult life transitions.
In addition to the “team”
approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for
each individual client, including identifying relevant legal issues and
effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues. The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution
that is appropriate for each client, and aggressively advocating on their
behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you
in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result
possible.
Jenkins & Kamin LLP
represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital
Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody &
Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and
Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our
office at 713-600-5500.
