Post-Divorce Self-Care Tips

 Life after a divorce can be a frightening and overwhelming experience. Often, a person going through a divorce has spent a good portion of their adult life as part of a partnership, a marriage. Readjusting to life as a single individual, with or without kids involved, is a daunting task. Here are a few self-care tips to help you along the way.

Put Your Needs First

When you were part of a couple, you may not have always been placing your needs first. Sacrificing your needs in favor of your partner’s needs is a common problem in unhealthy relationships and a habit you should work to shift away from following divorce. It is normal and healthy to examine and honor your own needs post-divorce.

Take a Personal Assessment

Start by looking into areas of your life that you feel are not receiving the attention and they are due. Schedule time to do things such as rest, read, meditate, exercise, and spend time with supportive family members and friends. Reflecting on aspects of life that have gone neglected, disregarded, or unfulfilled will help you move forward and remind you what you wish to prioritize in your life and future relationships.  

Discover Your Best Self

Remember, your basic needs do not define you as a person. Establishing new and healthy routines will set the tone for your new life.  The months following a divorce is the perfect time to address your own personal goals and desires as well. Take time to assess your personality and lifestyle and write down the aspects you believe are the strongest and set goals you wish to accomplish. So that you don’t overwhelm yourself in this step of the process, keep this list of goals to 5 items with varying, yet realistic, timeframes to complete them. For example, if you believe your health has been neglected you should schedule an appointment with your healthcare provider. Consider individual therapy, support groups, or joining a fitness program to help you improve and feel more confident.

But also go easy on yourself. Do your best not to solely focus on your perceived weaknesses, but rather contrast them with equal focus on your strengths. Prioritize things you wish to improve and put a plan in place to do so. Trust yourself!

Cultivate New Hobbies

Any strained relationship places difficulties on the individuals within them. Typically, a precursor to divorce involves a great deal of effort to reconcile and improve the relationship. Unfortunately, by spending a lot of your time on your marriage and then the divorce process, you are likely to have neglected any hobbies you might have had or perhaps dreamed of exploring. Now is the perfect time to return to them or begin new ones. Have fun!

You may even consider taking a personal enrichment course. Many community colleges or enrichment centers offer free or low-cost courses to help learn new skills. Alternatively, you can find free tutorials online, including podcasts or even YouTube. Choose a skill that interests you such as painting, woodworking, or writing. By developing a new skill, you will undoubtedly increase your self-confidence and pride in yourself for taking the leap to explore a particular skill set. You may even make a few new friends who share your interests as well!

Increase Your Social Circle

Speaking of new friends, one of the best things you can do following a divorce is to invest in social relationships. Studies have shown that strong relationships promote an improved quality of life and, quite possibly, are attributed to increasing your overall health. Life after a divorce can often be socially awkward, to say the least, especially if many of your friends were friends with both you and your spouse.

As a result, don’t be surprised if many of the relationships you shared as a married couple fizzle out…this can happen gradually, or sometimes rather abruptly. Those that linger longer are often emotionally strained or feeling awkward about being in your company. But look at this situation with a fresh perspective – YOU may no longer be the same person you once were, and what aligned you with these friends may have shifted. Take this opportunity to be grateful for the friends you had along the way but wish them well (to yourself) as you adjust to your next, and hopefully fulfilling, phase of life.  

Consider joining groups or taking part in activities that will help you establish new non-romantic friendships. By widening your social circle, you will have more opportunities to spend time outside the home and better cope with the anxiety and fears that often accompany post-divorce life.  

 

Throw Away Your Guilt

Lastly, you should do your best to avoid any sense of guilt that will inevitably creep into your mind from time to time. Our current world and social dynamic often imposes expectations on people to put the needs of others above their own, which only leads to unhealthy self-care practices. You deserve the time to address your personal needs, explore new interests, and re-discover yourself. Do not allow anyone to convince you otherwise!

This is a difficult time in your life and stress, pain, and anxiety will inevitably accompany it. A strong focus on self-care is the best way to get through it. Focus less on the past and any role you may or may not have played in your divorce unless you are doing so in a therapeutic setting with a trusted mental health professional. Now is the time to forge ahead and take control of your life and your future!

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible. They are committed to helping you throughout your case and beyond by providing resources and legal counseling to help you begin your new life in the best position.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Domestic Violence Issues, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of the offices in the greater Houston area.