Avoiding the Unhealthy ‘Divorce Diet’

 Many of us are happy to suddenly shed some pounds after the holidays, but unexpected weight-loss can have devastating effects on your overall health. Especially during a divorce, most infamously known as the “Divorce Diet.” While you may welcome fewer pounds, these losses are usually the result of too much stress and brought on by skipping meals or poor nutrition during a difficult time.

Many people going through a divorce say they feel so stressed out that they do not have a desire to eat or often simply forget to sit down for routine meals. The taste of food may make them gag and the idea of cooking a healthy meal can feel overwhelming. This involuntary starvation only adds to your stress levels and impairs your ability to concentrate and make the best decisions. Good decision-making ability during a divorce is more important than ever as you want to begin your new life as a single person or single parent on the best foot possible. Here are some healthy ways to cope with this added stress and ensure that you do not fall into the ‘Divorce Diet’ trap.

Do Not Neglect Medical and/or Psychological Care

If you normally have doctor or therapy appointments, it is important that you make time to keep them. The stress of a divorce can cause any person to neglect their usual self-care routines. Insomnia is often a side-effect of divorce and combining that with a decreased appetite may cause depression. Your medical or mental-health professional can help ensure that your body is functioning properly, and the path ahead will feel much more manageable when you are operating efficiently.

Eat Frequent, Small Meals

If the thought of food makes you feel nauseous or stressed, it is understandable to skip meals. Instead, you should opt to take in smaller meals more frequently throughout the day. Smaller meals are less daunting to prepare and will ensure your body is receiving the sustenance it needs. Stock your kitchen with healthy items such as nuts, cheese sticks, hummus, yogurt, and vegetables that are easy to snack on. Try to eat something every few hours, even if you don’t feel hungry. Simple grab-and-go foods are easy to digest and keep your mind and body sharp.

Ensure Your Coping in Healthy Ways

Divorce brings a lot of challenging feelings and a wide range of emotions. While there is nothing wrong with spending the occasional night at home binge-watching your favorite show, but routinely seeking solace in isolation can inhibit your ability to stay on task with your family and work obligations. Also, avoid spending hours on social media and find constructive ways to engage emotionally. Developing new hobbies or exercising routinely can help boost your endorphins naturally while also sending signals to your body when it is time to eat.

Do Not Allow the Divorce to Deplete Your Energy

Any weight you lose from meal skipping will most likely reappear, and often be accompanied by even more unwanted pounds once the stress of this life transition has passed. When you visit the grocery store be sure to grab some nutritious snacks such as fresh fruit or even pre-packaged protein bars so that you have a healthy supply of food on hand at all times. Eating consistently and properly will be a huge help as you navigate the stress of divorce, but it will provide the energy you need to manage it.

It is important that you learn as much as you can about divorce early in the process. Information is power and will help you feel more comfortable and make the decisions that will serve you and your children the best. Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions. Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.

 

 

 

Mediation Services

 Mediation is not only required in family law cases but is also a beneficial alternative to parties who wish to resolve their legal issues in a more artful and amicable way without court intervention. Jenkins & Kamin can assist if you require the services of a mediator in your case.

Divorce Advice for Women

 Facing a divorce is a difficult process regardless of the surrounding circumstances. A chapter of your life is closing and a new one is set to begin. With some preparation, women facing a divorce can limit the stress and uncertainty of their lives both during and post-divorce. While we have provided advice for both parties during a divorce, this article will focus specifically on women who are amid divorce.

Begin Saving Money

You are going to need your own funds during a divorce, and you should be prepared to support yourself and your children for some time while the divorce is pending. If you are dependent on your spouse’s income, be aware that there is a possibility that they could suddenly cut off the support with which you are accustomed.  If you establish a separate bank account or credit card prior to or during the divorce, understand that your spouse will have the right to obtain copies of those statements. 

Educate Yourself about Family Violence

Family violence, including physical violence and threats of the same, exists in many marriages.  If you have experienced it, you owe it to yourself and your family to share this information with your attorney.  Your attorney will be able to suggest different types of protections that may be available to you and your children.  Additionally, being transparent about what you have endured during your marriage will help your attorney prepare a case tailored to your own experiences and needs.

Protect Your Digital Life

Unfortunately, divorce can bring out the worst in spouses.  Fear and distrust lead reasonable people to act irrationally and start spying on people they once trusted.  To protect your privacy, turn off geo-location services on your phone and other electronics.  Be aware that your spouse may already have access to all of your bank account passwords, e-mail passwords, Facebook, iCloud and Google passwords.  Also recognize that these accounts could also be active on old devices, like the children’s iPad or your old phone.  While you may have thought to change your passwords, remember that your spouse also knows all the answers to your security questions—change those too.  Also consider getting a new email address that is just to be used for correspondence with your attorney—that way, your spouse is much less likely to know where to look if he intends to spy on you.

Avoid Social Media

Practice extreme caution before you post anything on social media. While it may seem harmless to vent about your current situation or boast about your newfound freedom, it could negatively affect you during the divorce process. The best policy is to log off entirely and prevent the urge to argue with anyone online or post things that you may later regret.

Establish a Routine

Keeping your life as normal as possible during a divorce will help you and your children. Do not skip meals or alter your sleeping habits – these routines help keep you focused and create a comforting sense of normalcy during a tumultuous time. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and do your best to maintain a social life by visiting friends and family. If you are able to speak to a therapist, you should do so as well as they are a neutral source to act as a soundboard for you during a divorce.

Be Positive

It is remarkably easy to fall into a negative mindset during a divorce. Try to maintain a positive outlook and do not allow yourself to be lured into conflicts with your spouse. You will need to work together to resolve the divorce as amicably as possible and reach a mutually beneficial settlement. If you have children, you will need to co-parent for years following your settlement and avoiding conflicts will only serve you in your life ahead. Choosing to converse with your spouse through email provides the opportunity to slow the pace of a conversation and gives you both time to fully consider what you wish to say and the best way to say it.

Research

It is important that you learn as much as you can about divorce early on in the process. Information is power and will help you feel more comfortable and make the decisions that will serve you and your children the best. Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.

Divorce Advice for Men

 The erosion of a marriage is a difficult time for all parties involved. There are general tips for anyone going through divorce, but this article will focus specifically on men who find themselves seeking, or facing an upcoming divorce.

Tips for Men Seeking Divorce

Tell Your Wife in a Respectful Way

Sadly, there is no correct way to break the news that you are wanting to end a partnership, but there are several wrong ways you can avoid. It is unlikely that you have suddenly decided you want a divorce, so it is best to not suddenly break this news. Do not wait for emotions to boil over and scream your desires during an argument. Instead, schedule a planned conversation with your spouse where the children will not be present, and she will have time to mentally prepare for a difficult conversation. This will allow you to practice what you will say and prepare for her possible reactions. The smoother this process begins the better.

Give Your Wife Time and Space After Breaking the News

Men tend be action-oriented so you may wish to get the process started as quickly as possible. However, patience after the initial conversation will allow your spouse time to process the upcoming change. Do not pressure her into action immediately.  Instead, your conversation about seeking divorce should be separate from any action-oriented conversations. There are special circumstances which may surround your divorce, and jumping immediately into addressing these will likely only lead to further conflict. Keep the initial conversation solely focused on informing your spouse that you are desiring a split.

Reassure Your Wife That You Reached This Decision with Plenty of Consideration

Your wife may not yet be in the same place that you are and may still hold on to hope that your marriage can be saved. If you know for certain that your marriage cannot be fixed, take the time to inform your wife that this decision was a long time coming and that you are resolved to move forward. The more she understands your point-of-view, the more likely she will be able to move forward in the process amicably and work for an outcome of mutual benefit.

Put your Family First

Even though your marriage is ending, if you and your wife have children together or your families are close, she will likely remain a part of your life for many years to come.  Give serious thought to caring for her vulnerabilities, whether it be financial insecurity or worries about how the change will affect the children.  Show her that you care about her wellbeing and that, despite everything, you want what is best for her and the children.  Be transparent with her on financial issues, and—to the extent possible—ensure that funds available for her to hire her own attorney or establish a temporary residence.  Reassure her that you want to continue parenting your children as a team and that no one will take her place.  By directly addressing your wife’s biggest fears in the divorce, you can minimize conflict, restore communication, and set your family up for a calm transition. 

Take Responsibility

Divorce has a way of reversing traditional gender roles in a marriage.  The person who has always been the breadwinner suddenly can no longer focus primarily on work because he is responsible for the kids half of the time.  The person who has always been the stay-at-home-mom suddenly has to find on work outside the home just to help make ends meet.  Both you and your wife are going to have to take on responsibility for your new normal, so be proactive.  For example, start taking your children to school, pack the kids’ lunches, attend or volunteer with their extracurricular activities, get to know their friends and teachers, and offer to stay home with your children when they are sick.  The effort you put in to care for your children now will pay dividends later—both in your connection with your children, but also in your spouse’s appreciation for and trust in your parenting skills. 

If you have any reason to doubt your spouse’s ability to care for your children after your separation—due to alcoholism, drug abuse, mental-health issues, anger problems, negligence, or any other reason—it is imperative that you take responsibility for your children’s daily care.  Do not abdicate responsibility for your children to your troubled spouse in the hopes that this will ease conflict.  Instead, if you want to be the primary parent after the divorce is granted, be the primary parent in the years leading up to the divorce.  This will greatly improve your ability to show the judge that you are the parent who can best care for the children.

Lower Your Emotional Reactivity

Being hit with the news that your partner wishes to end your marriage is a difficult thing to accept. Do your best to keep a cool head and not allow your anger to guide you moving forward. The more amicable you can keep your relationship the easier it will be to co-parent or interact with each other post-divorce.

Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.

Items Often Overlooked in Divorce

 When it comes to a divorce, it is not solely up to a judge to make all the decisions. A crucial part of any divorce is working with an attorney to help develop an agreement between you and your spouse. This helps you keep some amount of control of the result.

Even still, you should remain vigilant about some critical issues that are commonly overlooked when couples are in the negotiating phase of an agreement. Avoiding these mistakes can save you money and prevent unnecessary stress. A skilled divorce lawyer will know to address these issues, but the better prepared you are before beginning any legal process will only serve your emotional and financial interests in the future.

Overlooked Assets

Sometimes, one spouse may legitimately forget about assets that are not immediately obvious to them and fail to disclose these assets in the divorce process. Old retirement accounts, frequent flyer miles, experimental investments such as purchases of cryptocurrency, as well as intellectual property can easily be overlooked and left out of the final agreement dividing these potentially valuable assets. But it may be that a party-spouse takes deliberate steps to hide, omit or divert attention and access to such assets. Discovery – the formal legal exercise of obtaining records about assets and liabilities, among other things, from the other party – is often necessary so that a thorough investigation of your property can be conducted. Remember to provide your attorney with any information relating to safety deposit boxes, vacation properties/timeshares, credit card rewards points, and any intellectual or creative property you may have.

Debts

Assets (“positives”) are not the only thing being divided in a divorce. Debts (“negatives”) must be accounted for as well. People commonly overlook assets, but it is even easier to overlook outstanding debts because people do not enjoy thinking about them or even admitting they have debt. If you are contemplating a divorce, you should pull a current copy of your credit report as well as any statements reflecting debts to which you have access so that your attorney has a clear picture of the debts associated with your name and strategize a plan on how to allocate these debts before the divorce is finalized.  

Taxes

No one is a fan of the I.R.S. and they are a common enemy for both spouses during a divorce. The parties should each get ahead of this issue by consulting with an accountant or financial planner (or both) of that party’s individual choice to determine the best way to minimize their tax liability, both pre- and post-divorce. It is also important to consider the after-tax value of investments when dividing them. Finally, don’t forget to address the allocation of tax refunds (or liabilities), child tax credits/dependency exemptions, as well as carry-forward losses if such tax assets are applicable to your marital estate and case.

Inflation

Inflation can also play a factor in the division of assets in divorce. The value of certain financial assets, offset by certain expenses, should take inflation into account, to the extent this element is quantifiable. For example, one spouse agreeing to cover the cost of college for a child should be aware that said costs are capable of doubling in less than 15 years due to inflation.

There are many considerations and pitfalls you will want to avoid during and after a divorce. Working with an experienced attorney will ensure that commonly overlooked items are addressed so that you may begin your post-divorce life in the best position possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area

2022 Texas Super Lawyer Honorees

 We are pleased to congratulate our team members for being honored as 2022 Texas Super Lawyers

Super Lawyers Honorees:

JOAN FOOTE JENKINS, Founder and Of Counsel - Super Lawyers Honoree and Top 100 Lawyers in Houston
LYNN KAMIN, Partner - Super Lawyers Honoree and Top 100 Lawyers in Houston
MAISIE A. BARRINGER, Partner
AARON M. REIMER, Partner
ADAM W. DIETRICH, Partner
SUSAN E. OEHL, Partner

Best Lawyers for 2023

Jenkins & Kamin is honored to have been acknowledged by Best Lawyers for 2023 - https://www.bestlawyers.com/

Our Family Law Team is committed to providing personalized service to all our clients and we are grateful for this recognition. Contact us today by visiting https://www.jenkinskamin.com/