Post Divorce Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Situations

 No one expects to get a divorce, nor do they spend a great deal of time considering what life may be like afterward. However, if you are going through a divorce, it is safe to say that the process is very time consuming and likely to dominate your mind almost constantly. You may find yourself bringing it up in every conversation - this can either help bond you with someone or push them away. Here are a few simple social tips to keep in mind as you go through your divorce and beyond.

Mind What You Say in Public

It is natural to wish to unburden yourself to friends and family, but you should be cautious what you reveal to others about your ex and your divorce. People are listening and formulating opinions. Those closest to you take what you say and hold it against your ex-spouse, even further down the road when your relationship may become less volatile. This is especially true if you are attempting to co-parent with your ex-spouse. At the same time, anything you say can also be used against you. Remember, this is an extremely stressful time and you are most likely not behaving as you normally would. Airing your dirty laundry can provide some temporary relief, but it could also create an additional layer of conflict amongst your family and friends.

Be Extremely Cautious of Your Behavior When Your Kids are Around

Regardless of what happens between you and your spouse during your divorce, you both will forever be the parents of your children – even adult children. Hearing one parent insult the other can have devastating affects on a child of any age or maturity level. Children should not have to struggle to identify and compare themselves to the people they love and admire most while hearing negative talk about those same people. No matter their age, kids tend to internalize and misinterpret what they hear. It is best to avoid discussing anything negative surrounding your divorce if there is even a remote chance your kids could be listening.

If You Are Feeling Overly Emotional, Postpone Legal Discussions

Your lawyer will undoubtedly be one of the most understanding people when it comes to your struggle, but they are not a substitute for professional therapeutic counseling. Divorce lawyers can provide great advice and helping you to put things into perspective, but the more you are discussing your emotional or mental health with them, the less time you are working on your case strategy to ensure you are walking away from your marriage in the best possible position. Do not be afraid to seek out a mental-health specialist if you need one. Your attorney can even help you find one best suited for your needs.

Remember That Legally Speaking Your Spouse is Your Adversary

Not all divorces are contentious. Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who is ending their marriage for the mutual benefit of both parties and can do so without a lot of fighting. But it is still important to remember that when it comes to the legal process, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are adversaries and have different goals. Do not allow a friendship to be used against you. Work closely with your legal counsel to ensure you are not being taken advantage of and considering all your options with an open mind to achieve your divorce goals.

Don’t Kiss and Tell

Even if your spouse has moved on, remarried, or started a new family, it is never a good idea to discuss your intimate relationships with each other. If you can maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, you should still avoid the topic of your respective post-divorce romantic lives to avoid uncomfortable situations. Feelings of bitterness or jealousy, no matter how small, can strain your relationship and can be particularly damaging if you are attempting to co-parent your kids together.

Reconsider Congratulating Others on their Divorce

Recent trends have shown many people have begun celebrating the finalization of their divorces with small (or large) parties, vacations, or a night out. Perhaps you are one of these people whose life is improved by divorcing but do not assume the same for others. If you hear of a friend’s recent split, hold off on congratulating them or talking up how much better their life will be. Just because that was the case for you, every divorce is different. The end of a marriage can be extremely painful for some, and you want to remain sensitive to that pain, even if it is not something you have experienced firsthand.

Do Not Discuss Your Divorce on a Date

Now that your divorce is in your rear-view mirror, you should avoid discussing your divorce on dates. Oversharing details of your divorce or spending a lot of time insulting your ex is unpleasant to anyone listening and does not aid you in healing from the process. No matter how unique you believe your divorce story is, it usually is not. You should not allow it to define you. Give your date, or anyone else for that matter, the privilege of getting to know you – not your divorce.

Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about its clients and wants every stage of a client’s divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office at 713-600-5500.

Jenkins & Kamin continues to give back to the Community

 Dress for Success Houston has been empowering Houston women for over twenty-five years, and Jenkins & Kamin LLP is proud to support this important non-profit organization.

Because of its generous donors, like Jenkins & Kamin LLP (www.jenkinskamin.com), the services provided by Dress for Success Houston are delivered at no cost to the organization’s clients.  Recently, Jenkins & Kamin supported Dress for Success Houston’s “Rendezvous for a Cause” event, which raised over $629,000!

The agency’s objective is to create change within the community by equipping thousands of Houston-area women each year with the resources needed to attain long-term employment and success - ultimately building skilled leaders who will continue to make a difference for others. Dress for Success Houston provides professional attire and interview preparation to women ready to enter the workforce. With over twenty programs available, the organization offers women an opportunity to participate in workshops based on their individual needs, including job search skills, career education, and job retention.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm adopts a “team” approach by utilizing experienced attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to support their clients through difficult life transitions.

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office at (713) 600-5500 to schedule a consultation.

The panel, “A Day in the Life of A Family & Immigration Attorney” was moderated by Alex Gonzalez.

 Aaron Reimer, Partner at Jenkins & Kamin Family Law spent time discussing unique experiences and paths to legal practice with students at South Texas College of Law Houston.  Joining him on the panel were Lauren M. Rouhana, Sarah Tejada, and Becca Weitz.  The panel, “A Day in the Life of A Family & Immigration Attorney” was moderated by Alex Gonzalez.

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP Laces Up for a Good Cause

 The 38th Annual HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run took place this past weekend at Sam Houston Park Downtown, and Jenkins & Kamin, LLP laced up their sneakers to participate in the event.

Taking pride in recognizing admirable causes that are impactful to Houston and the surrounding communities, Jenkins & Kamin LLP is proud to support the HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run for another year. The event has raised over $1.6 million since 1986 for The Center for Pursuit, a private, non-profit corporation & United Way agency based in Houston, Texas that promotes choice, growth, and independence for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, autism, or similar conditions. One hundred percent of the entry fee for the HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run is contributed directly to The Center for Pursuit and helps support a variety of programs designed to provide education, job training, socialization, community living, and health care for the agency’s clients.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office at 713-600-5500.

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP Proudly Supports HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP consistently contributes to charitable causes that positively impact the greater Houston community, including The HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run – an annual event that has raised more than $1.6 million since 1986 for The Center for Pursuit.

The Center for Pursuit, a private, non-profit corporation, is a United Way agency which promotes the pursuit of choice, growth, and independence for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, autism, or similar conditions.  All adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, autism, or similar conditions will realize their potential in a world in which they are fully integrated.  Each contribution to The Center helps toward the goal of ensuring that every person is given the opportunity to live his or her best life having the opportunity to contribute to their community.

The 38th Annual HBA John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run is set for Saturday, February 18, 2023 at Sam Houston Park Downtown.  One hundred percent of the entry fee for the John J. Eikenburg Law Week Fun Run is contributed directly to The Center for Pursuit and helps support a variety of programs designed to provide education, job training, socialization, community living, and health care for people with intellectual disabilities.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm adopts a “team” approach by utilizing experienced attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to support their clients through difficult life transitions.

Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office at (713) 600-5500 to schedule a consultation.

How to Financially Prepare for Divorce as a Stay at Home Parent

Getting prepared for a divorce requires a lot more than simply placing a call to an attorney. There are many emotional, legal, parental, and financial aspects to consider. A divorce can be especially daunting for mothers who are stay-at-home parents. Concerns regarding present and future income can easily become overwhelming when a parent relies exclusively on their spouse’s income. With proper planning, you can more confidently pursue the next chapter of your life. Here are a few tips to simplify the path ahead and stay on track with your finances.

Open Your Own Bank Account

If you do not currently have a bank account in your name, it is imperative that you set one up immediately. If you are planning to divorce, it is crucial that you are financially prepared for any potential fallout after filing, such as your spouse making it difficult to access funds. Make sure to begin setting aside some money each month to pay your expenses and attorney fees.

Keep An Eye on Your Credit Score

Monitoring your credit score is vital for everyone, but even more so if you are contemplating divorce.  The earlier you begin taking control of your credit, the better position you will be in. Request a copy of your credit report and review it thoroughly and periodically. Be sure to promptly dispute any inaccuracies that you discover. You should also consider opening a credit card in your sole name if you do not already have one. Start making small purchases on this credit card and pay off the balance in full each month to help build your credit if prior history is lacking or non-existent. If you already have a credit card or other debts in your name, it is easy to accidentally miss payments when going through such a significant life transition; so be sure to continue to make timely monthly payments to maintain a good credit score. Setting up automatic minimum monthly payments for credit card accounts is advised.

Keep Your Financial Documents Organized

Begin sorting your financial documents and make note any missing information. Anything relating to finances should be collected, even if you think it may not be relevant. Gather your tax returns, pay stubs, investment account statements, bank statements, retirement statements, mortgage statements, and any information relating to debt your household may have. If you do not have access to certain accounts, or tax returns, your attorney can assist you by requesting this information from your spouse or your spouse’s attorney.

Create Your Own Email Account

If you share an email with your spouse, or if they have access to your current email inbox, you should create a new one as soon as possible for purposes of communicating confidentially with your attorney or other professionals engaged to assist you in the process. Select a secure password that would not be easy for anyone, especially your spouse, to guess.

Establish a Secure Place for Mail

In addition to establishing a separate email account, you will also need a place to securely receive written correspondence. Consider opening a post office box for sensitive mail to be delivered to that you would not want your spouse to access.

Create a Budget

Make a list of monthly income and recurring debts and expenses, to the best of your knowledge. Then, identify what resources you have available and those expenses that are specific to you so you can realistically prioritize what need and what is superfluous. You may be surprised to discover that many expenses you consider essential are not necessary and can easily be cut out. Be sure to prioritize those services and expenses that you feel are indispensable for you alone, such as medical care, prescriptions, and insurance. Once you have a clear picture of your current expenses, you can begin to create a prospective budget for yourself that you can stick to, both during and following the divorce.  

Determine Your Future Income

In most cases, parties receive certain property in a divorce at or around the conclusion of the case. Often, each party is awarded a combination of liquid assets (i.e., cash on deposit in accounts), real property (or sales proceeds from a marital homestead), as well as tax-deferred assets (i.e., retirement accounts). With the assistance of your attorney and a savvy financial advisor and/or CPA, you need to establish your long-term financial goals with respect to your marital estate and what you might have available to you for income and resources, post-divorce. Any temporary support you receive during the divorce should  be viewed as temporary in nature.  You may need to consider full-time or part-time employment if there are insufficient assets in your marital estate for your future support. Perhaps you would like to pursue further education or start a business on your own? Depending on prior work history and education, you should explore these options proactively. Bottom line – giving due consideration to your financial future ahead of time will curtail a lot of undue stress.

The divorce process can be overwhelming so it is best to work through it at your own pace and be organized before you file for divorce. Working with an experienced attorney is essential. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and endeavors to insure that each client’s case goes as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions. Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or contact our office to schedule a consultation.

Avoiding the Unhealthy ‘Divorce Diet’

 Many of us are happy to suddenly shed some pounds after the holidays, but unexpected weight-loss can have devastating effects on your overall health. Especially during a divorce, most infamously known as the “Divorce Diet.” While you may welcome fewer pounds, these losses are usually the result of too much stress and brought on by skipping meals or poor nutrition during a difficult time.

Many people going through a divorce say they feel so stressed out that they do not have a desire to eat or often simply forget to sit down for routine meals. The taste of food may make them gag and the idea of cooking a healthy meal can feel overwhelming. This involuntary starvation only adds to your stress levels and impairs your ability to concentrate and make the best decisions. Good decision-making ability during a divorce is more important than ever as you want to begin your new life as a single person or single parent on the best foot possible. Here are some healthy ways to cope with this added stress and ensure that you do not fall into the ‘Divorce Diet’ trap.

Do Not Neglect Medical and/or Psychological Care

If you normally have doctor or therapy appointments, it is important that you make time to keep them. The stress of a divorce can cause any person to neglect their usual self-care routines. Insomnia is often a side-effect of divorce and combining that with a decreased appetite may cause depression. Your medical or mental-health professional can help ensure that your body is functioning properly, and the path ahead will feel much more manageable when you are operating efficiently.

Eat Frequent, Small Meals

If the thought of food makes you feel nauseous or stressed, it is understandable to skip meals. Instead, you should opt to take in smaller meals more frequently throughout the day. Smaller meals are less daunting to prepare and will ensure your body is receiving the sustenance it needs. Stock your kitchen with healthy items such as nuts, cheese sticks, hummus, yogurt, and vegetables that are easy to snack on. Try to eat something every few hours, even if you don’t feel hungry. Simple grab-and-go foods are easy to digest and keep your mind and body sharp.

Ensure Your Coping in Healthy Ways

Divorce brings a lot of challenging feelings and a wide range of emotions. While there is nothing wrong with spending the occasional night at home binge-watching your favorite show, but routinely seeking solace in isolation can inhibit your ability to stay on task with your family and work obligations. Also, avoid spending hours on social media and find constructive ways to engage emotionally. Developing new hobbies or exercising routinely can help boost your endorphins naturally while also sending signals to your body when it is time to eat.

Do Not Allow the Divorce to Deplete Your Energy

Any weight you lose from meal skipping will most likely reappear, and often be accompanied by even more unwanted pounds once the stress of this life transition has passed. When you visit the grocery store be sure to grab some nutritious snacks such as fresh fruit or even pre-packaged protein bars so that you have a healthy supply of food on hand at all times. Eating consistently and properly will be a huge help as you navigate the stress of divorce, but it will provide the energy you need to manage it.

It is important that you learn as much as you can about divorce early in the process. Information is power and will help you feel more comfortable and make the decisions that will serve you and your children the best. Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life transitions. Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.