Mediation is not only required in family law cases but is also a beneficial alternative to parties who wish to resolve their legal issues in a more artful and amicable way without court intervention. Jenkins & Kamin can assist if you require the services of a mediator in your case.
Facing a divorce is a difficult process regardless of the surrounding circumstances. A chapter of your life is closing and a new one is set to begin. With some preparation, women facing a divorce can limit the stress and uncertainty of their lives both during and post-divorce. While we have provided advice for both parties during a divorce, this article will focus specifically on women who are amid divorce.
Begin Saving Money
You are going to need your own funds during a divorce, and
you should be prepared to support yourself and your children for some time
while the divorce is pending. If you are dependent on your spouse’s income, be
aware that there is a possibility that they could suddenly cut off the support
with which you are accustomed. If you
establish a separate bank account or credit card prior to or during the
divorce, understand that your spouse will have the right to obtain copies of
those statements.
Educate Yourself about Family Violence
Family violence, including physical violence and threats of
the same, exists in many marriages. If
you have experienced it, you owe it to yourself and your family to share this
information with your attorney. Your
attorney will be able to suggest different types of protections that may be
available to you and your children.
Additionally, being transparent about what you have endured during your
marriage will help your attorney prepare a case tailored to your own
experiences and needs.
Protect Your Digital Life
Unfortunately, divorce can bring out the worst in
spouses. Fear and distrust lead
reasonable people to act irrationally and start spying on people they once
trusted. To protect your privacy, turn
off geo-location services on your phone and other electronics. Be aware that your spouse may already have
access to all of your bank account passwords, e-mail passwords, Facebook,
iCloud and Google passwords. Also
recognize that these accounts could also be active on old devices, like the
children’s iPad or your old phone. While
you may have thought to change your passwords, remember that your spouse also
knows all the answers to your security questions—change those too. Also consider getting a new email address
that is just to be used for correspondence with your attorney—that way, your
spouse is much less likely to know where to look if he intends to spy on you.
Avoid Social Media
Practice extreme caution before you post anything on social
media. While it may seem harmless to vent about your current situation or boast
about your newfound freedom, it could negatively affect you during the divorce
process. The best policy is to log off entirely and prevent the urge to argue
with anyone online or post things that you may later regret.
Establish a Routine
Keeping your life as normal as possible during a divorce
will help you and your children. Do not skip meals or alter your sleeping
habits – these routines help keep you focused and create a comforting sense of
normalcy during a tumultuous time. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress
and do your best to maintain a social life by visiting friends and family. If
you are able to speak to a therapist, you should do so as well as they are a
neutral source to act as a soundboard for you during a divorce.
Be Positive
It is remarkably easy to fall into a negative mindset during
a divorce. Try to maintain a positive outlook and do not allow yourself to be
lured into conflicts with your spouse. You will need to work together to
resolve the divorce as amicably as possible and reach a mutually beneficial
settlement. If you have children, you will need to co-parent for years
following your settlement and avoiding conflicts will only serve you in your
life ahead. Choosing to converse with your spouse through email provides the
opportunity to slow the pace of a conversation and gives you both time to fully
consider what you wish to say and the best way to say it.
Research
It is
important that you learn as much as you can about divorce early on in the
process. Information is power and will help you feel more comfortable and make
the decisions that will serve you and your children the best. Working with an
experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce.
Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of
their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys,
paralegals and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in
difficult life transitions.
In
addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to
personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification
of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with
respect to those issues. The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that
is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf
when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any
family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law
practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child
Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law
Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm,
visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or
contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.
The erosion of a marriage is a difficult time for all parties involved. There are general tips for anyone going through divorce, but this article will focus specifically on men who find themselves seeking, or facing an upcoming divorce.
Tips for Men Seeking Divorce
Tell Your Wife in a Respectful Way
Sadly, there is no correct way to break the news that you
are wanting to end a partnership, but there are several wrong ways you can
avoid. It is unlikely that you have suddenly decided you want a divorce, so it
is best to not suddenly break this news. Do not wait for emotions to boil over
and scream your desires during an argument. Instead, schedule a planned
conversation with your spouse where the children will not be present, and she
will have time to mentally prepare for a difficult conversation. This will
allow you to practice what you will say and prepare for her possible reactions.
The smoother this process begins the better.
Give Your Wife Time and Space After Breaking the News
Men tend be action-oriented so you may wish to get the
process started as quickly as possible. However, patience after the initial
conversation will allow your spouse time to process the upcoming change. Do not
pressure her into action immediately.
Instead, your conversation about seeking divorce should be separate from
any action-oriented conversations. There are special circumstances which may
surround your divorce, and jumping immediately into addressing these will
likely only lead to further conflict. Keep the initial conversation solely
focused on informing your spouse that you are desiring a split.
Reassure Your Wife That You Reached This Decision with
Plenty of Consideration
Your wife may not yet be in the same place that you are and may
still hold on to hope that your marriage can be saved. If you know for certain
that your marriage cannot be fixed, take the time to inform your wife that this
decision was a long time coming and that you are resolved to move forward. The
more she understands your point-of-view, the more likely she will be able to
move forward in the process amicably and work for an outcome of mutual benefit.
Put your Family First
Even though your marriage is ending, if you and your wife
have children together or your families are close, she will likely remain a
part of your life for many years to come.
Give serious thought to caring for her vulnerabilities, whether it be
financial insecurity or worries about how the change will affect the
children. Show her that you care about
her wellbeing and that, despite everything, you want what is best for her and
the children. Be transparent with her on
financial issues, and—to the extent possible—ensure that funds available for
her to hire her own attorney or establish a temporary residence. Reassure her that you want to continue
parenting your children as a team and that no one will take her place. By directly addressing your wife’s biggest
fears in the divorce, you can minimize conflict, restore communication, and set
your family up for a calm transition.
Take Responsibility
Divorce has a way of reversing traditional gender roles in a
marriage. The person who has always been
the breadwinner suddenly can no longer focus primarily on work because he is
responsible for the kids half of the time.
The person who has always been the stay-at-home-mom suddenly has to find
on work outside the home just to help make ends meet. Both you and your wife are going to have to
take on responsibility for your new normal, so be proactive. For example, start taking your children to
school, pack the kids’ lunches, attend or volunteer with their extracurricular
activities, get to know their friends and teachers, and offer to stay home with
your children when they are sick. The
effort you put in to care for your children now will pay dividends later—both
in your connection with your children, but also in your spouse’s appreciation
for and trust in your parenting skills.
If you have any reason to doubt your spouse’s ability to
care for your children after your separation—due to alcoholism, drug abuse,
mental-health issues, anger problems, negligence, or any other reason—it is
imperative that you take responsibility for your children’s daily care. Do not abdicate responsibility for your
children to your troubled spouse in the hopes that this will ease
conflict. Instead, if you want to be the
primary parent after the divorce is granted, be the primary parent in the years
leading up to the divorce. This will
greatly improve your ability to show the judge that you are the parent who can
best care for the children.
Lower Your Emotional Reactivity
Being hit with the news that your partner wishes to end your
marriage is a difficult thing to accept. Do your best to keep a cool head and
not allow your anger to guide you moving forward. The more amicable you can
keep your relationship the easier it will be to co-parent or interact with each
other post-divorce.
Working
with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a
divorce. Jenkins & Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every
stage of their divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The
firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals
and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life
transitions.
In
addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to
personalize case strategies for each individual client, including
identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the
law with respect to those issues. The firm endeavors to achieve a
resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating
on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working
with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best
result possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law
practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child
Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law
Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm,
visit http://www.jenkinskamin.com or
contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area.
When it comes to a divorce, it is not solely up to a judge to make all the decisions. A crucial part of any divorce is working with an attorney to help develop an agreement between you and your spouse. This helps you keep some amount of control of the result.
Even still, you should remain vigilant about some critical
issues that are commonly overlooked when couples are in the negotiating phase
of an agreement. Avoiding these mistakes can save you money and prevent
unnecessary stress. A skilled divorce lawyer will know to address these issues,
but the better prepared you are before beginning any legal process will only
serve your emotional and financial interests in the future.
Overlooked Assets
Sometimes, one spouse may legitimately forget about assets
that are not immediately obvious to them and fail to disclose these assets in
the divorce process. Old retirement accounts, frequent flyer miles,
experimental investments such as purchases of cryptocurrency, as well as
intellectual property can easily be overlooked and left out of the final
agreement dividing these potentially valuable assets. But it may be that a
party-spouse takes deliberate steps to hide, omit or divert attention and
access to such assets. Discovery – the formal legal exercise of obtaining
records about assets and liabilities, among other things, from the other party
– is often necessary so that a thorough investigation of your property can be
conducted. Remember to provide your attorney with any information relating to
safety deposit boxes, vacation properties/timeshares, credit card rewards
points, and any intellectual or creative property you may have.
Debts
Assets (“positives”) are not the only thing being divided in
a divorce. Debts (“negatives”) must be accounted for as well. People commonly
overlook assets, but it is even easier to overlook outstanding debts because
people do not enjoy thinking about them or even admitting they have debt. If
you are contemplating a divorce, you should pull a current copy of your credit
report as well as any statements reflecting debts to which you have access so
that your attorney has a clear picture of the debts associated with your name
and strategize a plan on how to allocate these debts before the divorce is
finalized.
Taxes
No one is a fan of the I.R.S. and they are a common enemy
for both spouses during a divorce. The parties should each get ahead of this
issue by consulting with an accountant or financial planner (or both) of that
party’s individual choice to determine the best way to minimize their tax liability,
both pre- and post-divorce. It is also important to consider the after-tax
value of investments when dividing them. Finally, don’t forget to address the
allocation of tax refunds (or liabilities), child tax credits/dependency
exemptions, as well as carry-forward losses if such tax assets are applicable
to your marital estate and case.
Inflation
Inflation can also play a factor in the division of assets
in divorce. The value of certain financial assets, offset by certain expenses, should
take inflation into account, to the extent this element is quantifiable. For
example, one spouse agreeing to cover the cost of college for a child should be
aware that said costs are capable of doubling in less than 15 years due to
inflation.
There are many considerations and pitfalls you will want to
avoid during and after a divorce. Working with an experienced attorney will
ensure that commonly overlooked items are addressed so that you may begin your
post-divorce life in the best position possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP cares about their clients and wants every stage of their
divorce to go as smoothly and favorably as possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The
firm is noted for its “team” approach by pairing skilled attorneys, paralegals
and other support staff to enhance each client’s experience in difficult life
transitions.
In
addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to
personalize case strategies for each individual client, including
identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the
law with respect to those issues. The firm endeavors to achieve a
resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating
on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working
with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best
result possible.
Jenkins
& Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice:
Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody
& Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals
and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit
www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in the greater Houston area
We are pleased to congratulate our team members for being honored as 2022 Texas Super Lawyers
Jenkins & Kamin is honored to have been acknowledged by Best Lawyers for 2023 - https://www.bestlawyers.com/
We are incredibly honored to have been recognized by Texas Lawyer magazine as winners of the "Best Of 2022" in Family Law
Often, people struggle with feelings of guilt or shame after a divorce. There are several commonly believed myths that may make you feel as ...
