Helpful Tips to Prepare for an Upcoming Divorce

 Imminency of divorce is one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. In addition to the emotional aspects of a failing marriage, navigating the legal proceedings can be confusing and overwhelming for anyone. If you are contemplating divorce or find yourself in the midst of pending divorce litigation, here are a few helpful tips if to make the process more manageable and productive.

Take the High Road

You have many choices when it comes to a divorce. Some cases can be handled more simply, or you can choose to litigate and have a court intervene and make decisions about your personal family and financial matters. You can also utilize various alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation or the collaborative approach to securing as peaceable of a conclusion as possible.  Be sure to research all the options available to you by consulting with an attorney who is Board Certified in Family Law to determine the best path forward for you.

Get Organized

Myriads of significant decisions must be made in divorce, often in finite period of time. These decisions will not only affect your life, but also the lives of your loved ones for years to come. The more organized you are at the beginning of your case, the better off you will be at the end of the marriage. Competent legal and financial professionals can help guide and prepare you as you weight your options regarding your kids and property. Aligning with a financial planner, advisor, and/or tax professional before you embark on the journey to divorce will serve you well; this individual can work hand-in-glove with your legal professional to further your desired goals in divorce.

To the extent you are able, try to work with your spouse to make a list of your assets and debts. Be prepared to provide copies of your financial documents to your attorney as well, such as deeds, titles to property, summaries of financial accounts, pay stubs, W-2’s, 1099’s, K-1’s, tax returns, retirement & brokerage information, mortgage statements, car loan statements, and other marital assets & liabilities. Create a current and prospective budget to educate yourself on what it costs to live together versus living separately. But, do not engage in ad hoc negotiations with your spouse until you have consulted a Board Certified family lawyer. You simply need to get organized at this point, to aide your legal advocate in effectively preparing for and responding to discovery when you enter that phase of your divorce case.

Accept Responsibility & Participate

The overwhelming nature of divorce is enough to make anyone want to retreat. Unfortunately, it is not something from which you can hide, and doing so will not solve the problem or change the inevitable. Do not passively observe your own divorce, or constantly place blame on your spouse or others.  It is imperative that you take responsibility first, while also taking an active role in the divorce process. Follow the advice of your chosen legal professional but be prepared to stand by your own decisions and actions that find you in this life transition. Proactive participation in the divorce process will lend toward a more expedient result for you and your family.

Seek Support

A divorce may make you feel isolated, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources, such as counseling, support groups, etc., to give you an outlet as you process your emotions and learn how to deal with (and express) them in a healthier, more productive way. If you need help, the first step is asking for it. Consult with a Board Certified family lawyer who can help align with the best resources with your specific circumstances in mind.

Maintain Your Integrity

You may feel angry, betrayed, devastated, and a plethora of other emotions. Often, such emotions cause people to engage in behavior they would not otherwise engage in, which can be detrimental to your case overall. No matter how much your spouse may be pressing your buttons, you should not let them get the best of you, allowing their attacks to justify “bad behavior.”

Resist venting details of your divorce on social media. Do not talk poorly about your spouse to your children, or to others in front of your children. And yes, this advice is still prescribed even if your spouse may be engaging in such behavior.  As difficult as this advice may be to receive and follow, the reward for doing so will salvage your mental and emotional health, and likely give you an upper hand in settlement negotiations and/or court proceedings. Do not let your actions during divorce define (or, worse, ruin) the rest of your life. The divorce process can only define you if you allow it to do so.

Don’t Lose Sight of the Big Picture

The decisions you make during the process will affect you and your children for many years to come, so do not get caught up focusing on semantics or insisting that you are “right.” There are no winners when it comes to a divorce, but if you focus on what is most important such as your children and your future, instead of the pain of the past, you stand a greater chance of divorcing amicably and reaching a settlement that will be much more workable in the long term.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP is one of the most respected family law firms in Texas. The firm is noted for their “team” approach to enhance the client experience by utilizing experienced attorneys, paralegals and other support staff to support their clients amidst difficult life transitions.

In addition to the “team” approach, Jenkins & Kamin, LLP strives to personalize case strategies for each individual client, including identification of every particular legal issue and effective explanation of the law with respect to those issues.  The firm endeavors to achieve a resolution that is appropriate for each client, while aggressively advocating on their behalf when necessary. Having a dedicated and experienced team working with you in any family law matter is of utmost importance to achieve the best result possible.

Jenkins & Kamin LLP represents clients in the following aspects of family law practice: Marital Property Agreements, Divorce, Complex Property Issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Child Support, Parentage, Modifications, Family Law Appeals and Dispute Resolution Alternatives. To learn more about the firm, visit www.jenkinskamin.com or contact one of our offices in Conroe, Clear Lake or Houston.